PKMN of the Week: Eelektross

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One of my favorite grocery stores to visit is the Great Wall grocery in Falls Church, Virginia.  Not only do they have great prices on all of the fresh produce, plus produce you won't find in your usual grocery (dragon fruit, mangosteen, bok choy), you can get any of the Asian specialties you like.  They carry all the ramen - every brand, every flavor.  Any kind of green tea you could imagine.  Teriyaki flavored nori strips.  If you've never been to a mega Asian grocery before it is an experience not to be missed.

At the back of the store is a butcher's counter that runs the length of the store.  Towards the right side - fresh shellfish.  Towards the left - red meat.  Around the middle, tanks and tanks of fish swimming around.  That's right - you pick the fish in the tank you want, they plop it out, gut it, and kill it.  I've seen more than one Feebas meet its end that way.

They used to have, but got in trouble for, a tank with eels.  Those things are so grody.  When I was growing up in Hawaii I was always told to have a healthy respect for the Moray Eels.  Those monsters have two sets of jaws, literally in the same manner as the monster from the Alien movies.  Let's be clear, here, eels are not my friends.  They are not cool, they are not chill.

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PKMN of the Week: Salamence

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Something amazing happened this past Thursday.  Something that has never, ever, ever, happened before.  I beat my friend Gabe in a Pokémon battle!  It was a real battle, too - he wasn't going easy on me.  We had gone a few rounds already, I was on my second beer, and I had figured there was no way that I was going to beat his Hydreigon, Zapdos, Archeops, and Starmie team.  What I didn't realize was he had decided to swap out his Starmie for a Cloyster.  What a mistake!  I had finally gotten my Whiscash to stomp Archeops, my Hydreigon somehow beat his Zapdos, and he was just left with just Hydreigon and Cloyster.  Well, if you don't know - I love my Volcarona.  While not my favorite Pokémon of all time, I love using it in battle.  Friends, just a little Bug Buzz from my Volcarona, David Hugs, and Hydreigon was down.  Cloyster came out and before he could set up with Shell Smash - Bug Buzz, Bug Buzz - Boom, Cloyster was down and Will was the winner!

All of this to remind you guys that Bug-types are 1,000 times more awesome than Dark-types and that the Pokémon this week is . . . Genesect!

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PKMN of the Week: Dragonite

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It's very still tonight, very quiet.  The dark is darker than usual and you can feel it as a presence in the room.  You put on a record but even that sounds oddly quiet - too far away.  You are alone and, strangely, your loneliness feels like a companion tonight.

Have you ever been out to sea?  In my youth I was a sailor - I've had the opportunity to sail both the Pacific and Atlantic.  When night falls on the ocean you learn what isolation is.  There is no one around for miles and, even if you knew where they were, how would you get to them?  The winds are still, the skies are clear, and you are staring out into a universe of cold stars.

Listen, though, are you truly alone?  There is life under the water.  You can hear the small waves ripple and splash against the hull - but what is that other noise?  Something deep, groaning, a bass so profound.  Some far off cargo ship plying the ocean on it's way to Europe or Asia?  Could it be something else, an antediluvian moan from an indescribable creature of the depths?

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PKMN of the Week: Hydreigon

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Sometimes, PKMN of the Week travels to far off locations like Austin, TX.  Sometimes, PKMN of the Week gets caught up in the heady party atmosphere of the SXSW Conference.  Sometimes, PKMN of the Week wakes up in the morning feeling like soldiers from Panzer Command are marching through his head - Eins! Zwei! Drei!

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